Today’s Video

Click for English translation


Today’s Video

Today marks the one-year anniversary of Kim Jonghyun‘s passing.  He is missed and I miss his creativity, kindness, and humility. You did well, Jonghyun.

End of a Day                                                                                                                                (written by Kim Jonghyun)

Hold out your hand, wrap it around my neck.
A little below, massage my shoulders
At the end of a tiring day.
Even if the sun has already come up
I’m finally closing my eyes.


I close the door to my day later than others.
Playfully tickle my earlobe
Because even though we’ve been in different worlds all day
We always end the day together.


Your small shoulders, your small hands
Become my cozy blanket at the end of a tiring day.
You did a good job today, you worked so hard.
I hope my shoulders and my thick hands
Will become cozy comfort.
For the end of your tiring day as well.
I want to naturally sync my breathing with yours


Like water in a bathtub that wraps around you
With no space left,
I wanna warmly hold you without any space left.
At the end of my day, filled with awkward mistakes
You, my prize, are waiting for me


Your small shoulders, your small hands
Become my cozy blanket at the end of a tiring day.
You did a good job today, you worked so hard.
I hope my shoulders and my thick hands
Will become cozy comfort
For the end of your tiring day as well.
I want to naturally sync my breathing with yours.


I can’t cry all I want or even laugh all I want.
At the end of a tiring day but still, if I’m next to you
Like a child, I can whine and then laugh
Till I run out of breath.
I’m not used to seeing myself like this.


You did a good job today, you worked so hard.
You are my prize.

Today’s Video

SHINee’s three-part comeback ends with their “The Story of Light: EP 3” which was dropped today and includes the lead song, “네가 남겨둔 말 (Our Page)” (Things Unspoken (Our Page”) –  a song written by Onew, Key, Minho, and Taemin in tribute to Jonghyun, who passed away last December.

I’ve not watched the entire thing yet. The “acting” in the first minute is too spot-on.



SHINee, “The Story of Light EP. 1: The 6th Album” (2018)


  1. All Day All Night**
  2. 데리러 가 (Good Evening)*
  3. Undercover**
  4. JUMP
  5. 안녕 (You & I) 

*Title/Lead Track

** Favorite!

NOTE: This album is 1) is part of a three-CD release campaign in celebration of the group’s ten-year anniversary (May 25, 2008) and 2) the first release after the passing of group member/main vocal Jonghyun (Kim Jong-hyun; #고인의 명복을 빕니다). I was worried about if/how they would treat Jonghyun’s voice in these track/releases; so far it’s been appropriate considering the main audience is not Western. You can hear Jonghyun clearly playing his secondary role – ad-lib/sensuality King – in tracks 1 and 3. It’s simultaneously jolting, saddening, and comforting.

Ultimately, though, the SHINee sound is still intact and far from disappointing. In fact, I hear vocal ranges that we’ve never heard from Onew, Taemin, and Key, and Minho does more singing, which traditionally, he has done very little. I’m looking forward to EPs. 2 and 3 in the coming weeks.

“Together as four, we will move forward as five.” – Lee Jinki (Onew), SHINee Leader (May 2018)

SHINee’s Back.


Today (or, “yesterday” in Japan), SHINee performed their first concert without Jonghyun. It’s been less than two months since he passed away. The show began at 5:25 p.m. with a set-list of their most popular Korean and Japanese songs. The twenty-fifth song they performed was the Japanese version of their Korean debut song, “누나 너무 예뻐” (Nuna Neomu Yeppo/Older Lady, You’re So Pretty). The concert’s start time and the placing of this song is significant to members of SHINee and SHINee World.

It is highly unlikely SM Entertainment/SM Entertainment Japan will release this performance, even though social media footage seem to show that it was being taped. However, social media sites offer live-Tweets of the action, and fancams share performance clips. Fans get a sense of SHINee members understandably wavering at the beginning and quickly settling into their usual push towards excellence as the concert continues. They seem to gather strength from the fans (who, in turn, seem to be working diligently to give it to them).

“No one can replace Jonghyun hyung’s position. We want to let everyone know that SHINee’s stages in the future will always be together with Jonghyun.” – Choi Minho (January 8, 2018)

In most cases, song and choreography have been modified only where absolutely necessary. No back-up dancers cover for Jonghyun. Fan accounts state that the group performed “Everybody” – one of their most intricate choreographies requiring all five members – without an extra dancer.

In addition to “missing man” formations, the show is peppered with activities keeping the spirit of Jonghyun on stage: his singing parts play without edit; special “ments” (films/vignettes in show breaks) about Jonghyun; and the like. As a particular tribute, SHINee performed a new song that the group recorded before Jonghyun’s passing. The photo still in this post is from that portion of the show.

At the end of the concert, each member briefly shared particularly vulnerable thoughts about preparing for these shows, and discussed the role and memory of Jonghyun in their lives. Their comments also seem to reassure fans that the group plans to continue working together for the foreseeable future.

This concert makes plain that SHINee’s goal is not to prove that they can perform without Jonghyun. They are there to show that Jonghyun is still performing with them as far as they are concerned. They could have easily taken this tragedy to withdraw, to say “it’s all for naught.” They could have said, “it will be too hard to change the formations, to sing Jonghyun’s high notes, to perform the songs he wrote for us.”  They could have decided, “it’s too hard to face the fans.” They did none of that.

In some clips, microexpressions show their sadness and the conflict they undoubtedly must feel performing on stage so soon after Jonghyun’s death. They are still very much grieving. However, they are feeling these feelings and are doing what they love – for whom they love – *anyway.*

This concert falls during a time that is very challenging and disappointing lately for me as a professional. In watching these images and performances, I am trying to re-center and re-evaluate many things. I am so, so, very, very thankful for SHINee’s selfless example of fortitude, and that’s just the way it is.

UPDATE: The concert footage will be released for purchase in late June 2018!




A Glimmer of SHINee

We. Are. SHINee.

Three weeks after Kim Jong-hyun’s passing, SHINee members have elected to continue with  preparations for their February 2018 Japanese concert series, which was (and will be) called “SHINee World The Best 2018 ~From Now On.

Their hand-written letters to fans detailing the reasons for their decision to continue are here (English translations included).

Amazing fight towards resilience. 

샤이니은 그것을 할 수있다!

샤이니 화이팅!



A Little Less SHINe(e), The Big Loss of Bling.

There was no post yesterday because of horrible news.

In an earlier post I mentioned that I’m a SHINee fan. Yesterday, my group lost a member – the main vocal, Kim Jong-hyun (known simply as Jonghyun, aka BlingBling, aka Puppy, aka Dino, aka Jjong) – to suicide. In the horrific onslaught of talented people leaving our sides, 2017 continues to do its best to outdo itself to the very end. I debated whether I should write something here, and I decided I should because 1) authenticity matters to me 2) this blog covers inspiration, which SHINee – and Jonghyun – are to me and 3) I hope respect is recognizable and honorable to anyone reading this, in any case.

You did well, Jonghyun. (김종현/Kim Jong-hyun, 1990 – 2017)

Kim Jong-hyun will remain:

  • SHINee main vocal
  • SHINee member
  • Supportive younger brother (동생)/member to Lee Jinki (Onew)
  • Guiding older brother (형)/member to Kim Kibum, Choi Minho, and Lee Taemin
  • Introspective writer
  • Creative composer
  • Avant-garde producer
  • Generous collaborator
  • Filial – and only – son (아들) to his mother
  • Doting younger brother (동생) to his sister 
  • Roo’s affectionate dad (아빠)
  • Informal leader
  • Staunch supporter of arts and social progress
  • LGBT-advocate
  • Women-advocate
  • Mental health advocate

It’s hard to be an American fan of Korean popular music. It’s harder still to be an African-American fan of Korean popular music. It’s even harder still to be a Woman-of-a-Certain-Age African-American fan of Korean popular music. From an external perspective, I *think* I’m *supposed* to like Beyoncè and/or Rihanna. Erykah Badu?Maybe I should be listening to Chris Brown? I *think* trap music? I can’t- I don’t even know who’s “in” right now in American popular music. If I’m feeling nostalgic, I presume Keith Sweat, LeVert, New Edition (& Company) are on the approved list for someone who “looks” like me and is my age. But I don’t listen to them. I just don’t. For lots of reasons (By the way, I *do* love Maxwell, Prince, and, of course, creative respect to Michael Jackson; and I also would be remiss if I didn’t state that most of the artists I’ve mentioned here are/were influences of Jonghyun’s work).

It’s hard because if something/ when something happened to those people, the onslaught of community support materializes – and quickly. For me, I have no one to talk to. I get instead, bewilderment, impatience, feigned concern, and worst of all, silence – all things that marginalize my current state and deem it “less-than.” People who have responded overlook that Jonghyun didn’t die in a plane crash, or as a result of an unintentional drug overdose, or similar. I also get to read sensationalized Western news reports contextualizing the Korean entertainment industry as somehow *more* “evil” than the Western one (Um, Mariah’s first husband? Whitney’s former manager? Beyoncè’s Dad? NSYNC’s manager? #CmonSon). Writers rehash old articles instead of learning about individuals or international issues. They don’t know that Jonghyun suffered with depression and anxiety for most of his private and public life  – so it *must* be the industry.  They don’t know  – or ignore – that South Korea, in general, has one of the highest suicide rates in developed countries – so it *must* be the industry.

I found SHINee soon after I began learning about Korean language and culture. Since 2011, they have given me the sound of my past with the creativity of the contemporary. Their positive outlook has impacted me in numerous ways – becoming a fan of a “boy group” (men, really) is different when you’re an adult than it is when you’re a teenager. Within the context of my life experiences, they were very refreshing and rejuvenating to my own outlook and have continued to be so. 

I recently started my two week end-of-year holiday with the goal to read, rest, and catch up on my SHINee-centric television shows and concerts (and binge-watch Season 2 of The Crown). For quite some time, SHINee has been the only bright spot in my entertainment life – a wonderful alternative to the Western televised world of flying weaves, rising bleep levels, faux luxury, and in more serious matters, the ongoing documentary of my country’s slow, apathetic erosion of democratic government. Now, I don’t even have SHINee. Jonghyun’s voice is on every single song and thus, he is part of every single stage presentation. I don’t know when I’ll be able to listen or watch again.

That being said, I remain a Shawol (the SHINee fangroup – an amalgam of SHINee World). I am thankful I got to see the entire group perform three times: twice in the States (NYC – 2011 and Dallas – 2017), and once in Seoul (2013). There are very few American Shawols who have been lucky in this regard.

What I can do also is share SHINee’s direct role in improving my skillset as a contemporary information professional. As a member of KPK: K Pop Kollective, I worked to create and curate digital exhibits for Korean popular music artists. While planning the project metadata and display – which is housed and archived in Omeka, I volunteered –  very quickly – to create SHINee’s exhibit. While the project is no longer updated, enjoy the link. You can view how learning Omeka’s platform was eventually applied to my LIS work at my campus.

While working with KPK, I also created a running visual archive of artist websites produced by the Korean record label SM Entertainment (SMEnt). SHINee is managed by SMEnt, and every time they dropped an album in Korea or Japan, a new website was created to assist with promotion efforts.  I called my recordings the Digital Documentation project. Enjoy SHINee’s Korean and Japanese digidocs.

I sign off this post with a notice and reminder: Depression is real. It is tangible. It is devastating. Keep in mind that mental health remains stigmatized in our country, too. Keep in mind that mental health services are not as accessible as they should be. Keep in mind that we should be doing what we can to increase awareness and access.  You can begin to access and research mental health services here.

수고했어요 종현아.